


Drabbles

by GangstaCrow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, a bit of angst sprinkled in too lol, did i say a bit i meant a lot whoops, have fun, ill just update this every now and then, instead of goin months without posting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2018-12-25 07:52:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 12,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12031464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GangstaCrow/pseuds/GangstaCrow
Summary: An assortment of their moments.





	1. Fireflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A summer night moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I have a couple WIPs that should be done before next month. I'll explain lack of updates in the end notes of my next fic.  
> 2\. enjoy this while you wait tho  
> _(:3」∠)_  
> 3\. also my dog ate a firefly during the summer. nothing happened to her, she just ate it. shes weird.

Shigeru loves summer for two main reasons.

The first is that school is out of session, so after getting through his summer homework within the first three weeks of vacation, he's free from any sort of education.

The second is the fireflies. He doesn't find them especially interesting, but Jun does. Being a puppy means the little guy gets overly excited about everything new he sees. When he first saw them on their regularly scheduled night walks, his tail was wagging and he was barking and yipping after them like everyone was in on some kind of game.

The fireflies gives him an excuse to invite someone special to his nightly walks. Someone who doesn't like to talk even though everything about him is so goddamn loud Shigeru can't look away. Someone who has simple tastes and isn't very hard to please if you ask the people that know him well. Someone who's debating on whether or not to completely bleach his hair or leave in his signature stripes. Someone who's going to put off his summer homework until the last week of vacation and pester Shigeru until he caves and helps.

Someone who doesn't think twice about bringing a drink for them to share and holding his hand.

The heat is making their palms sweat, but Shigeru still finds himself smiling as he hands over the lemonade. “Your hands are gross.”

Kentarou takes a swig from the bottle before passing it back. “Whatever. You love it.”

That he does.


	2. Bath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A duck moment.

That stupid smug fucker is staring right at him. Beady black eyes, top hat, ugly ass bowtie.

Kentarou holds him underwater so he doesn't have to look at him.

Shigeru’s leg knocks against his. “Stop it Ken.”

Kentarou lets go of the duck, but as soon as it resurfaces, he flicks its forehead to send it back towards Shigeru. “He keeps lookin’ at me.”

Shigeru laughs. “It’s not that serious.”

Kentarou’s eyes flick to Shigeru on the other end of the tub. Hair flat on his head. Steam making his face, his neck, his _everything_ red. Legs pressing against Kentarou’s.

He stops before he can look any lower. “Why do you have so many anyway?”

Shigeru squeezes the duck in front of him, the tiniest of smiles appearing on his face. “My mom brings them home whenever she goes on business trips. I'm sort of collecting them now.”

Kentarou snorts without saying anything about it. _Of course he is._

Shigeru reaches to the side of the tub. He pulls out two more, one with a cowboy hat and one regular one.

He pushes them both towards him.

Kentarou picks them up and throws them to the other side of the bathroom.

Shigeru glares at him. “Ken!”

Kentarou chokes back a laugh. “What?”

“Don't throw them, they have feelings!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think a lot about that rubber duck. what if he had friends. what if he had feelings. what if he got scared when yahaba screamed.
> 
> i worry about him.


	3. Spot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tiny spicy moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a lil spicy

_Where the fuck is it?_

It's killing him to go this slow, but he has to. It's the only way to find it.

Shigeru’s getting impatient too. Kentarou could easily finish this since he already knows where another one is, but he wants to find something new, something he's never seen before.

Kentarou almost growls as he takes his time pulling out and reenters. The pain of holding back is agonizing.

This is killing him.

It's warm and tight and kind of comforting and he wants to give up on this altogether because he's supposed to be making them feel god dammit, not torturing them.

_One more._

If he can't find it after this, he'll say fuck it and go all in _._

Kentarou pulls out, slides back in to try one last time.

That's when he sees it.

Sees the way Shigeru's back arches ever so faintly, eyes fluttering shut when he slides past. The way that bead of sweat on his forehead finally rolls down. The way his gasp is almost like a whisper, sound so quiet it's a miracle Kentarou heard it at all.

He can't fucking breathe.

Everything about Shigeru leaves him breathless, but this is new. Something he's never seen before.

Now that he's seen it, he doesn't know how he's survived without it.

He leans forward to rest his head beside Shigeru’s, whose short, barely there nails are dragging lines down his back that are going to be a real pain in the morning.

 

Kentarou slams in.

 

 Shigeru screams.

   
“Found it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it wasnt really that spicy tbh


	4. Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A zombie au moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. an angsty au with some notes  
> 2\. okay but really the end notes get kinda real so maybe read those

There are so many he can't believe they hadn't seen them. They're everywhere, gray skin and bloody mouths surrounding him like a sea.

If he tried to promise everyone that'd he'd make it back if they saw something like this they'd have never let him go in the first place.

But they hadn't seen them, so here he is.

He can't even begin to describe the thoughts that run through his head as he forces himself to accept this. There are so, so many, almost all of them memories of what life was like before all of this.

He only really focuses on the last three emotions he feels, because they're just that.

His last.

The first is his selfishness. Before he left he'd allowed himself to hope someone else would take the fall since he'd finally found who he was looking for, he'd finally had the only people he needed in his life. But the second is his selflessness. It was _because_ he'd had them with him that his heart had softened, how he couldn't bear to tear other people apart and force them to suffer through the same loneliness and despair he'd had to. So he'd stepped up and done what nobody else wanted to.

The third though, the very last thing, is love. For those two it's stronger than any other emotion he could ever muster for anyone else, and he would do anything for them.

He sees them now as they pass by on the tracks, sees how their faces are nothing but a mixture of pain and fear and heartbreak. His brother starts crying, and under ordinary circumstances, he might've made fun of him. The guy would've been in the eighth grade and he's still bawling his eyes out in public.

Shigeru starts too, which isn’t fair since he knows Kentarou’s weak to it. He's screaming at him to please hurry up, don't leave him, this isn't how it's supposed to end.

But Kentarou can't. There are hands grabbing and pulling at him, teeth biting anywhere they can manage to, and he can't even say three words let alone run to him.

So Kentarou closes his eyes and lets himself get torn apart as the only man he'd ever loved and his little brother ride away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have this zombie au that I ended up deleting off Ao3 today (if you know me, you know it was Wanderer). It was a gradual decision that I honestly think was the best course of action for myself. It wasn't that I inherently disliked the idea. I just didn't like how I executed it, and I think having such a tense, detailed series like that stressed me out _way_ too much to be normal.
> 
> I basically decided to drop it for the good of myself, and now I feel a lot more light. Like I have less to handle and am free to try new things.
> 
> But to commemorate it's short lifespan of seven months with only 3 chapters (im cringing too b, im sorry), I improvised an angsty ending that I most likely would've added to the end of the series to finish it.
> 
> Sorry if I disappointed you by deleting it. Some of you may be sad or frustrated, and I know that feeling; it's always tragic if an author deletes a series you enjoy. But please understand that sometimes an author doing what's best for themselves means that they might have to block out the audience's opinions for a little bit.
> 
> I hope this was enough for those of you who subbed to that series and will go unfulfilled. If you really can't live with ending on a cliffhanger and need to know what happens, then I'll spell out the story in the comments, so all you have to do is ask. Thanks for reading. Sorry again.
> 
>  
> 
> and i can already hear y'alls minds as you lurk down in the comments. "but crow, i thought you was gonna make this a happy series, yous a lyin bitch! unsub and blocked!"
> 
> FUCK OFF I JUST LOST A CHILD OKAY IMMA POST WHATEVER I MCFUCKIN WANT TO


	5. Whipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A coffee moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont even drink coffee

“What kind of boyfriend are you?”

“Don't get pissy with me, you're the one who wants it, not me.”

“I know, but I expected _you_ to pay, not ask for _my_ money to buy it.”

“Do I _look_ like I'm made of money?”

“Ken.”

“What?”

“Please?”

“...”

“Pleeeaase?”

"..."

"Plee-"

"Fuckin' _fine._ ”

They leave that Starbucks with Kentarou ¥1000 poorer, Shigeru significantly more happy, and the latter bearing an annoyingly smug smile.

 

_Too easy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gettin back into things. next big fic will up by december maybe.


	6. Hesitant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hesitant moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i woke up to take a shit but i got distracted so i posted this

When Kentarou spends the night at his house, Shigeru makes an offhanded comment that while homecoming and prom are a couple of stupid American cliches, he's still a bit envious of them. Kentarou laughs at him for it. Shigeru defends himself by saying it'd be cool to experience something like that here, to see how Seijou would manage to pull it off.

He won't admit it out loud, but the thought of a school dance isn't what he's interested in.

It's the association of romance that's drawing him in, how the pining couple either finally get together or tell everyone about their relationship.

He thinks they need that jumpstart. Being on the border between friends and something more sucks, but he doesn't know how to do anything about it.

Kentarou doesn't share his fascination with the idea of school dances though, his brows furrowed as he halts his handful of popcorn halfway to his mouth. “Why the fuck would you wanna spend more time with people you see at school on a regular basis?”

He sighs. “Don't be a dick.”

Kentarou snorts. “I'll stop when you stop.”

Shigeru frowns. “Shut the fuck up. It's not about seeing the same people you see everyday, it's about spending a memorable night with the people you care about.” _Which a_ _lso includes people you want to kiss until they stop being so goddamn frustrating._

Kentarou shrugs. “Whatever drama queen.”

“I'm a drama _prince_ you uncultured swine.”

Kentarou rolls his eyes, but they shine with laughter. “All I'm sayin’ is that everything they do at those dumbass dances could be done literally anywhere else. Maybe somewhere people won't have flashbacks to their shitty classes and subpar grades.”

Shigeru opens his mouth to say something, but decides against. He clicks his teeth. “You're right, but you're still a major asshole.”

They drift into comfortable silence, eyes on the tv as they watch some random horror movie neither of them are really scared of while they comment on the many idiotic decisions the female protagonist makes.

Kentarou lets his arm rest on the back of the couch, centimeters away from his shoulders.

He's tempted to lean into him.

Should he though?

It's not like they're dating or anything. Almost, but not quite, and there's a major difference between the two... at least he thinks so.

It'd probably be weird, wouldn't it? It wouldn't be the first time he did it though. But again, they aren't dating, so it might be weird.

Maybe he's just overthinking this.

After all, if they're close enough to share a bed or a futon or clothes then sitting next to each other on a couch shouldn't be that big of a deal.

It shouldn't be.

But whenever he thinks of how close they get to one another, how the air seems to get hotter as their bodies get warmer, Shigeru can't bring himself to believe that.

He takes too long to react, and Kentarou eyes him with a look that makes his insides churn and his neck burn. “What?”

Kentarou stares at him like he's the most insufferable person he's ever had to interact with and like he's the greatest thing he's ever laid his eyes upon, and he can feel all the air leave his lungs. Sometimes he forgets how many emotions are able to pass through Kentarou’s eyes at once. “Stop being slow and get over here.”

He does. He holds his breathe as he presses against Kentarou’s side, relishes in the way their legs tangle together as they stretch out.

Kentarou doesn't even bat an eye, just hands him the bowl of popcorn.

Shigeru breathes out.

_I'm a fucking moron._

They've probably been like this the whole time. There probably wasn't even a border to begin with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im workin on shit, i aint dead yet


	7. Slide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A childhood moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a nap and had a dream about these two tiny gays so here it is

The slide is taller than he thought it would be. Shigeru doesn't want to go down it. He might get hurt and his mama will take him home, and he doesn't want to leave yet. Not when  _he's_ here.

The hand on his tightens, and Shigeru tries to hide the fear on his face when he turns.

He looks into Kentarou’s eyes, sees the color of dandelions. His face is kind of serious, but he's missing one of his front teeth, so he's more funny than scary.

Kentarou tugs on his hand to pull him closer. "C'mon. We can go together."

Shigeru isn't ready. "What if we fall and get scratchies?"

Kentarou smiles at him. It's warm, like his hand. "I got tons already. I'll protect you."

Shigeru believes him, but he's still not sure it'll be alright. What if Kentarou gets hurt instead? That'd be worse than if he did. 

But Kentarou keeps walking towards the slide anyway, so Shigeru doesn't have it in him to say no.

Kentarou climbs up first and waits for Shigeru at the top. They go down side by side because they're skinny enough to fit.

It's over fast. Shigeru almost wishes it took longer, because they were very close, and it was very warm and it made his tummy feel tingly.

It was nice.

Shigeru hugs Kentarou as hard as he can before he leaves, hoping that the tingly feeling inside him will last forever.

It does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(:3」∠)_


	8. Rough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bruises and hickeys moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt edit this and even though this was kinda gay, i dont think it was gay enough. i wish it was more gay and i am ashamed that it isnt.

Whenever they're alone, they always end up with bruises. Sometimes, when they're laying next to each other and whispering sweet nothings, Kentarou wonders if they might take it easy, but he can't imagine that happening any time soon.

It's who they are.

They give each other deep welts on their hips and shoulders that last for days. They give hickeys that are too high to hide from wandering eyes and too low to avoid knowing smirks when they're seen. They drift around listlessly for hours after they kiss each other goodbye, unable to focus on anything else. They send each other challenging looks across the room, promises that make them shiver with excitement.

When Watari asks if they ever get tired of it, they can't give him an answer.

It's not because they don't understand. The things they do to each other should hurt, and they should honestly be sick of it. The should learn how to tone it down a bit, maybe take a few days going slow and being gentle.

But they can't even imagine doing that.

Because it just feels _right._

It's not as if they're denying they feel the pain, because they do, but it doesn't hurt.

Quite the opposite actually. It feels _good._

It reminds them that this is their reality, that what they're sharing is something that will stay with them for as long as they allow it to. The feeling of the other touching their skin will last a lifetime, even if Shigeru’s going abroad for university while he leaves Kentarou here and they won't see each other for months at a time.

The bruises and marks they give each other are a reminder that their love is real. That neither of them was dreaming of this the entire time and it's something that can't be erased or forgotten.

So they keep going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive me for my failure. this needs more gay and i dont know what to do.


	9. Excommunicado

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An undercover castle guard au moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next time I update my shit and ao3 pushes it back to page two we throwin hands

Shigeru can't keep the guilt out of his expression when he looks at him. As they're getting ready for bed and Kentarou’s managed to relax as much as he is able, his eyes drift to it as soon as he pulls his shirt over his head. Compared to his bare chest and the rest of his body, it's still hauntingly misshapen and dark, even as it heals. Shigeru tries not to stare out of respect, but the book in his hands is forgotten the more his eyes stay locked on it.

He's lucky all he got was that scar. When they found him, there was so much blood and the cut was so deep that Watari says it was a miracle he survived at all.

Shigeru hadn't cared about the specifics at the time, but now he does. Now that he knows what happened, he realizes that it's all his fault.

He _asked_ for that information. He begged Kentarou get those maps and weapon schematics to him so they could figure out a way to clear out those assassins before they made another attempt on Oikawa’s life. He shouldn't have been so naive, he should've known how dangerous it was.

No matter how good Kentarou was at what he was doing, he should've known the extent of their strength and cruelty. He may have gained their trust, but that hadn't meant he was safe, and he should've _known_ that.

The jagged cut with a dark coloring burned into Kentarou’s skin is proof of that.

Shigeru can only imagine how horrific it was. How they held him down and clumsily sliced his neck, allowing it to bleed long enough for him to be too weak to fight back. How they pressed scorching hot steel into the open wound to close it, to serve as a constant reminder even after they disappear from the country.

And it works.

Because even after they cleared out all their known hideouts, executing who they could and deporting anyone else, Shigeru still sees how truly traumatic it was for him.

Kentarou’s jaw clenches and his eyes flash with something vulnerable and frightened if he leaves the fireplace iron in for too long when he's stoking the flames.

Whenever he hears the slightest of movements at night, he tenses as if he's going to have to fight an army.

He can't even talk anymore for god's sake.

Anybody else would say it doesn't make much of a difference since he hadn't talked much anyway, but to Shigeru, that silence resonates deep inside of him. Whenever he expects a snarky comment or a smartass remark from Kentarou, all that he gets is the chilling reminder that it's never coming.

He doesn't realize he's crying until he feels a hand on his cheek. He looks up to Kentarou eyeing him with something so soft and tired and _loving_  it makes him feel even worse about the pain he's caused him.

Shigeru throws his arms around him and sobs, heart wrenching sorrow all he can manage to feel for the man he loves because _he did this._ Kentarou holds him like he's done nothing wrong, and as Shigeru mumbles out apology after apology, he rubs his back and squeezes him tighter.

All the while, Kentarou thinks of how if he could speak, he'd tell Shigeru that this was his own fault. Nobody had found out about the stolen plans. He'd allowed this to happen- volunteered for it actually.

After all, if he'd really wanted to save himself, he'd have followed through with the contract on Shigeru he'd gotten while undercover rather than take his place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. if you're wondering where this came from, it's a dream. I dream about a lot of gay kyouhaba shit  
> 2\. new fic comin soon


	10. Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A birthday moment for Kentarou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dedicate this chapter to the light of my life, my beautiful boy, Kyoutani Kentarou

Nothing special happens.

Shigeru knows he doesn't like big parties or doing anything fancy, so they don't go out. They both take the day off work and stay at home together.

They fool around a little in the morning, and throughout the day, they get into petty arguments that end with even more fooling around.

It's the best birthday he's had in a while. He doesn't realize how late it is until he glances out the window and it's pitch black.

They sit together on the couch with some cake Shigeru picked up the other day, scrolling through Netflix to find something to watch. Shigeru’s head rests on his chest as warmth flows through his entire body.

Shigeru presses his lips to his neck, and Kentarou hums. “Have fun?”

Kentarou nods, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Yep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i l o v e m y b o y
> 
>  
> 
> even tho this was kinda shit im cryin because hes fuckin beautiful and i would give him the world tbh


	11. Lotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A winter moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember everyone, it's important to lotion up in the morning and at night during the winter to prevent cracked, dry skin.

When Kentarou takes off his pants, Shigeru expects to see boring plaid boxers and maybe a hint of an erection.

He does not expect to see the dry skin fly off his legs like tiny snowflakes when he pulls off his jeans.

Neither of them move.

Kentarou stares at them, eyes laced with subtle embarrassment, and Shigeru can't help but pity him.

That doesn't make this any less hilarious, but still. _Poor Ken._

He has to pinch himself to keep from completely losing his shit. “Ken?”

A tired, irritated grumble. “Shigeru.”

“Do you need some lotion?"

“Yeah.”

And though it's obvious Kentarou doesn't like the humor in his voice, he doesn't say anything about it.

He tosses the bottle from the bedside drawer to him. “It's pretty cold out, isn't it?”

Kentarou nods with a clenched jaw. “Mmhmm.”

Shigeru has to stop breathing or everything he's holding in will slip from his mouth. “Huh. Interesting.”

Kentarou rolls his eyes and clicks his teeth. “You know what? Okay. I get it Shigeru, my skin looks like the shit in your uncles ashtray. It's winter, babe, what did you expect? It's cold as fuck and the wind makes me ashy.”

_ This isn't funny. _

As they stare each other in the eyes, Kentarou's narrow and he squeezes a hefty amount of lotion onto his palm. “And don't forget, you  _ chose _ this when we started dating. You chose  _ me. _ That means you have to accept me, my ashy legs, and my flaky elbows with no judgement.”

He can't handle this.

  
  


Shigeru thinks one of his lungs collapses when he can't breathe after laughing for ten minutes straight, and Kentarou just shakes his head with a barely concealed smile and pink cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i went to put my sweatpants on and saw those flakes fly off my legs, i died inside.  
> go buy shea butter and lather up with that shit. dont be like me, a naive mixed kid who thought they could beat that bitch mother nature


	12. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A holiday moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a piece of shit that cant get anything done and can only produce mediocre content, so heres something to tide you over while i force myself to stop being a dick and finish this 7.2k word fic by saturday

Shigeru fits into the Kyoutani family like it's natural. The first time he visits there's that expected bit of awkwardness that comes with being introduced as “the boyfriend”. But after a couple visits, maybe even as short as the end of the first, it feels like he's been part of the Kyoutani family his whole life.

He especially loves spending the holidays with them. His own parents usually go on romantic vacations for the holidays, so Shigeru gets to spend time with the entire family. The twin older brothers, the quick witted younger sister, the endearing parents, and of course, his Kentarou.

Even though Kentarou gets cranky because he doesn't like the noise, he can still see the way his eyes shine with love when they walk inside the house. Everyone's past the point of treating Shigeru like he's in some kind of intermedial period, and now Kentarou’s brothers and sister treat him the same as they do each other. Kuroko gifts him with seasonal hair products that she thinks have the cutest bottles, which is a little weird, but he doesn't say anything about it. Kovu and Kuya rope him into playing beer pong, accusing him of witchcraft when he wipes the floor with them. When he passes by Kentarou’s parents he gets his hair ruffled and his cheeks kissed. The dogs take breaks from following Kentarou everywhere to say hello to him.

Kentarou pulls him into the bathroom for some quick kisses before they eat dinner, and when he feels the lips on his neck mouth "Thank you", all he does is let out a breathy "I love you" in response. 

 

At the end of the night, when they're all dozing off in front of the tv, Shigeru can feel the way Kentarou’s hands gently squeeze his sides.

Another nice Christmas, though that's to be expected when they're together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this next fic gonna be out before 2k18 or im literally gonna descend into hell


	13. Festival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cultural festival moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. this is kinda rushed since im a fuckin shithead, but hey, i might start on a new series soon, so see the end notes for details on that.  
> 2\. im gonna try to start updatin this more frequently, so have faith in me my dudes

Shigeru considers, for half a second, that his reaction is kind of over the top.

All that had happened was a freshman had flashed a sweet grin at Kentarou when he was manning the ticket booth for his class. Being the stupidly awkward teenager he is, all Kentarou could do was silently offer the faintest of smiles back as he handed her tickets for her friends.

That was it. It was what everybody in his class had tried to get Shigeru to convince him to do for two weeks: be polite and smile to people coming to see their play. He didn't have to make small talk and pretend to like everyone. Just smile.

And smile he did.

His lips had barely curved upward, his eyes only just managed to flicker with kindness, and his shoulders barely lost a fraction of their tension for less than a second, but it was enough to take that girl's breath away. He saw it in the way her eyes had widened and her cheeks flushed with a deep crimson, sending her scrambling away to the group of girls she'd arrived with.

Not even Shigeru himself had been safe.

It’d made his knees weak, his face too warm for him to be able to have a proper conversation, and his heart beat way too fast for him to breathe. He shouldn't have been so surprised. He sees him smile whenever they’re alone, sometimes at practice on good days, and whenever Watari makes terrible puns. He knows how Kentarou looks when he smiles.

Still though.

_Leave it to this moron to try to fucking murder me in broad daylight._

The pride bursting through Shigeru's chest as he waltzes over to Kentarou, _his_ Kentarou, an easily irritated teenager fueled by purely by instinct, anxiety, and love, isn't nearly enough to help him get through the next few hours as the cultural festival unfolds. He needs to recharge.

He pulls out the chair next to Kentarou and sits down, moving until he's almost pressed against Kentarou’s side. “Hey.”

Kentarou bumps their knees together lightly. “Hey.”

Shigeru snakes his hand under the table, hoping Kentarou takes the hint. He doesn't. _This bitch._ “How's your class doing?”

“The class rep yelled at me for manning the booth by myself, all because I told Mizuki to go see his girlfriend before she dumped him.”

“Why would she dump him?”

“Because Mizuki’s a pussy that doesn't know how to express his emotions.”

“Pot, meet kettle.”

“Fuck off. Shouldn't you be with your class with that furry cafe or something?”

Shigeru frowns. “It's a cat-girl cafe. And not that it's any of your business, I already did my fair share of work, so unlike you, I have free time.”

“Free time to nag me.”

“Exactly.”

Kentarou chuckles, a low sound that sends a swarm of butterflies in Shigeru's stomach. “By the way, I didn't know you were in the running to be Seijou’s next heartbreaker.”

“What?”

“Don't play innocent. You didn't think you could get away with nearly killing that freshman with that smile, did you?”

“Sorry. I'm not into chicks.”

“So you're gonna break _my_ heart instead?”

Kentarou rolls his eyes as a trio of girls wearing Johzenji’s uniforms approach the table. “Like you'd ever let me.”

Shigeru snorts.

And when Kentarou finally takes the hint and laces their finger together under the table, Shigeru may or may not have felt something inside of him relax, leaving him significantly happier for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayy so lemme know what you think i should do in order of "i want that shit" to "that doesnt sound gay enough"
> 
> \- the finale to Talk  
> -apocalypse au  
> -medieval/magic au


	14. Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A yandere yakuza moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i gave up tryna make a new fic and ended up making a short drabble, so feel free to kill me for disappointing you

His father disagrees with his methods.

Shigeru disagrees with that disagreement.

He was the one who always said not to let people make a play on their territory, so he didn't.

The proof is in the body slumped in the corner of the room, the floor surrounding it red and slick, the air full of salt and shit.

Shigeru's eyes stay locked on his phone, face set into a giddy grin as he scrolls through the numerous dog photos being sent to him. This'll make people think twice about getting smart with him, trying to make jokes they know full well aren't funny. _Oh Yahaba, if that Mad Dog ever gets tired of you, tell him to give me a call!_  Shigeru clicks his teeth. Just thinking about it sets him on edge, and he can't help the sharp glare he sends to the corner of the room.

No response. He doesn't expect one, but it still sends a spark of reassurance up his spine.

Shigeru returns his attention to his phone, taking a moment to look at his wallpaper with a fondness reserved only for _him._

_Kentarou._

When they started dating, Kentarou became his. His boyfriend, his lover, his life, his everything.

Kentarou became his in every sense of the phrase.

He's the only one Kentarou needs. There is no "getting sick of" or "getting bored with". He's the only person Kentarou is going to be with. Shigeru. Nobody else. Shigeru's the one he falls asleep next to, Shigeru's the one that's always there, Shigeru's the one that matters. Nobody else.

And he doesn't think that's unreasonable.

Shigeru’s never been good at sharing, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next fic: talk finale


	15. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Valentine's Day moment, courtesy of Kentarou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a couple days late what who cares lmao

Shigeru hums as he flips through a magazine. "Anything special planned for today?”

Kentarou swallows the last of his toast. “Sex.”

Shigeru pauses, eyebrow raised. “That's it? Just sex?”

Kentarou chugs the last of his orange juice before getting up to put his dishes in the sink. “If it means that much to you, I could always go buy some flowers that we can throw on the bed and fuck on.”

When he doesn't get a reply, Kentarou glances at the couch on his way out the door.

Shigeru’s staring at him.

He stops.

“...”

“...”

“...What kind do you want?”

“Pink carnations.”

“Ugh, what a pain.”

“Love you!”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a ko-fi, and the links pinned to my twitter. donate for more mediocre content


	16. Showboating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A birthday moment for Shigeru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayy lmao

Shigeru knows Kentarou doesn't like putting their relationship out in the open. It's not because of shame or fear of disapproval, it just makes him uncomfortable to have all those eyes on them.

But that's exactly why Shigeru loves it.

Being able to draw the gaze of complete strangers just by holding hands in a crowd makes his chest swell with pride, his lips curving into a grin so smug he wonders why Kentarou doesn't wipe it off his face. He makes it a point to guide them through the most populated streets and stop at crowded restaurants so he can make sure everybody knows that they're together. Kentarou’s stiff and his face is set in a glare for a little while, but his expression softens when he makes eye contact with Shigeru at one point. What he sees, Shigeru doesn't know, but he's glad to have helped him loosen up a bit.

When they finally sit down on a park bench at the end of the day, Shigeru glances down at their hands, fondness blossoming inside him upon seeing them still clasped together.

_ He _ has this.

He has a bond strong enough to turn a simple action into a gesture commanding the attention of everyone nearby. He has someone who loves him unconditionally, someone who knows his strengths and weaknesses. Someone he'd never want to let go, someone who he would fight for and can expect the same in return.

_He_ has this kind of love. A love stronger than anybody he knows.

The first day of March. His birthday. Otherwise known as the one day in the year where Shigeru can parade around town proudly showing off how in love he is with Kentarou, complete with the pent up excitement that comes with waiting an entire year for this one moment.

And in that respect, he supposes he  _ does _ act a bit like Oikawa, but he knows he pulls it off better than he ever could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fic is in progress, dont murder me yet


	17. Mediator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An advice giving moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey remember when I posted regularly? me neither lmao

Kentarou hates getting involved in other people’s affairs. It doesn’t matter how small it may be- an opinion about an outfit, a stance on an issue, if he believes in aliens- he doesn’t ever give his two cents. Shigeru knows this. Kentarou knows this. Their shared group of friends knows this.

Watari's new girlfriend Ryoko, however, does not.

The lovely couple got into a rather heated argument a couple weeks ago and she’s been trying to figure out the best way to apologize. They’re in their apartment, and she’s standing across from Shigeru at the kitchen island. He’s been peeling potatoes for dinner while patiently answering questions she has about whether Shinji would like _this_ gift or if he would like to eat at _that_ place better. Shigeru is trying to guide her to the easiest possible solution, but she doesn’t seem to understand that all she has to do is be honest.

From the corner of his eye, he can see Kentarou getting antsy. He doesn’t like other people being in their house unannounced. Surprise visits make him irritable, doesn't give him time to readjust and prepare for whatever he feels he needs to. He’s been chopping their vegetables with much more force than he needs to. _So dramatic._

Ryoko sighs, dropping her head against the counter with a thud. “I just don’t know what to do!”

Shigeru resists the urge to smack his forehead. “Like I’ve been telling you for the past hour, all you have to do is apologize-”

“But I _can’t!_ I was the one that screwed up yet still got mad at him for no reason, there’s no way any apology I give will ever be enough! What am I supposed to do-”

He hears it before Kentarou even opens his mouth. The snapping of the last cord of his restraint, the growl centered deep in his chest from the frustration of hearing the two of them talk in circles. _Here we go._

Kentarou slams down the knife and rounds on the girl. His eyebrow is twitching a little, so that's fun. He doesn't look especially mad. Just really, really irritated. “For fucks sake, just apologize to Watari for bein’ a bitch and eat his ass or something! I'm tired of you nagging about it but refusing to do anything!”

She clamps her mouth shut after that. There’s no noise save for Kentarou dropping the vegetables in the pot of boiling water with faint splashes. The air between them has the barest tints of tension at the outburst, yet Shigeru isn't scared or worried in the slightest. Quite the contrary actually. He has to remind himself that he has a knife in his hands, he can’t do anything stupid or he’ll drop it, hold yourself together Shigeru, you're a grown man who can handle a joke that isn't really a joke because Kentarou is completely serious.

Ryoko’s nonchalance makes it significantly more difficult to keep quiet. “Women don't typically eat ass, Kyoutani.”

Is he shaking? He feels like he's shaking. He can feel himself smile while he holds in any sound he might make.

Kentarou scoffs at Ryoko. He _scoffs, the absolute madman._ “You see, that's what I don't understand. Eating ass is one of the three pillars of society.” Kyoutani Kentarou, the love of his life, the apple of his eyes, is the dumbest person he’s ever met. Ever. In his life.

“What are the other two?”

 _Don’t say it._ Shigeru feels like he’s about to cry.

“Good wifi and free universal health care, obviously.”

That's it folks. That's the end of Yahaba Shigeru. He finally allows himself to laugh, and it feels so good yet hurts so bad. He thinks he might laughing _too_ hard though, because he has to wheeze to get even an ounce of air back in his system. He tries to regain his composure only to get a depan stare from his boyfriend and a horribly flustered Ryoko, which only makes him laugh harder.

 

He’s pretty sure he's going to marry this man some day. He’s going to be stuck with an idiot who gets annoyed easily, always speaks his mind no matter how ridiculous it is, and makes him laugh so hard he feels like his insides are going to bruise.

And he’s going to love every minute of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said lmao but I'm actually extremely disappointed in myself and my lack of drive to finish anything


	18. Alpha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An ABO au moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's mostly dialogue dudes so it's a pretty quick read

“The game's on in ten minutes.”

"Really? Who's playing?”

“Tokyo and Miyagi.”

“I thought you hated college volleyball.”

“No. I hate when people are put in the starting lineup just because they're older.”

“Is this about-"

“No. Why would I be mad-”

“That Tomoda spends his time going to parties and getting laid instead of showing up at practice but they make him a starter anyway? Because it pisses me off too. ‘He's a senior, he's leaving soon, let him have some fun while he can.’ Give me a fucking break. If he cares as much about the team as they think he does, he'd start acting like it. He doesn't even _try_ to play!”

“You don't gotta preach to me. I know. This dumbass let's the ball drop and gets mad that nobody recieved it, like it's my fault I didn't want to dive at his feet to fix _his_ fuck up.”

“Right? What's his problem anyway?”

“He's probably mad that his girlfriend has a crush on you.”

“You mean because she has a crush on _you_?”

“No. She doesn't even look at me.”

“She does. She thinks she's being cute when she does it when you aren't paying attention, but it's just creepy and tacky.”

“Damn Shigeru. No mercy.”

“It's not my fault that I love you.”

“So you're blaming your shade on me?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well if you're gonna use me as an excuse to be a dick-”

“That's rude.”

“-could you at least do me a favor and get the remote?”

“Why? You have legs.”

"But I'm the alpha.”

“...”

“...”

“Is that supposed to mean something to me? Because you said that like I'm supposed to care.”

“I will enact my ancient hormone powers to withhold sex and compell you to-”

“Go for it Ken. Let me know how it works out over the next few days.”

“Tch.”

“So what's your plan now, my oh-so wise alpha?”

“...”

“...”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Can you grab me some gum while you're other there?”

“Yeah yeah.”

Kentarou pulls himself off the couch and trudges over to dining room table where they left the remote, grabbing a pack of strawberry bubblegum on his way back to his seat. He flops back down and tosses the gum into Shigeru's lap.

Shigeru doesn't lift his eyes from his phone until he hears the shrill sound of a whistle and the squeaking of sneakers against a gym floor emanate from the speakers of the tv.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next episode: talk finale


	19. Keychains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A gift moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is based on true events. took a few artistic liberties, but yall know what you did.

He almost assumes they learn about his offer before he does given how fast they throw this whole thing together.

One minute he's thinking about how to tell Yahaba he got invited to the team at Miyagi University, and the next he's walking into Watari’s house right into a kazoo party.

Literally. They blow into cheap plastic kazoos as they throw confetti at him because they were running on a “tight schedule.” That schedule being the twenty minutes it takes to walk from his house to Watari’s.

He eyes the banner hanging in Watari’s living room with _Congratulations Kyoutani_! written neatly and immediately knows Yahaba didn't write it. When he says as much, he gets a kazoo to the forehead.

Oikawa fusses over how he knew Kentarou would get offers from universities and they'd be stupid not to, and he might've blushed in embarrassment if it were from anyone else. Iwaizumi gives him a nice pat on the back, which is pretty cool aside from Watari doing the same but with ten times the amount of force necessary.

Hanamaki and Matsukawa debate whether they should blast Naruto openings to celebrate, and when Kentarou doesn't say anything against it, Kunimi tries to convince them to play the fifth one because the video makes Kindaichi laugh.

Yahaba hands him a small box. He returns to the group before anyone notices, but Kentarou stays behind to open it.

To anyone else, it's nothing special. A few keychains, one from each person on the team. Tiny little volleyballs, all different colors, all with their initials. They're cute, but nothing for somebody to go crazy over.

But Kentarou does go crazy over it.

He's never gotten something like this from anybody before. He only gets things like sports tape and socks. Practical gifts that people know will be used. But these, they're more personal. Nicer. Heartfelt.

He doesn't think he deserves them though, so when he puts the lid back on the box to put it in his pocket, he promises he'll prove that he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got McMurdered


	20. Photographer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A job moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrow

Kentarou hadn't thought it was possible to regret taking this job.

It's simple enough when you take away the logistics, technique, and technical expertise needed to operate the equipment, so he knows it's not hard at its base level. Most of the time he's just following his instincts, regardless of whoever's in charge. Soft hues here, harsher shadows there.

Kentarou has always had a talent for setting scenes. Only now he's not the one taking the pictures, he's helping someone more “qualified” do it.

_ What a load of shit. _

Though aside from models who have occasional stress induced episodes, overworked interns snapping at whoever doesn't have the power to fire them, and guest photographers who have allowed success to cloud their sense of human decency, he's got a fairly good thing going here.

He's lucky to even have gotten it this soon after graduating, not to mention it pays extremely well. It's not like it's too far off from his major anyway. Photography  _ is _ more than just cameras after all. This kind of work is admirable in its own way given the skill needed to perfect a certain vision, to get that something extra that's so brilliantly indescribable it can bring the strongest to tears.

Yeah. This job is okay.

But it’s moments like these when Kentarou hates it.

When he locks eyes with a stupidly stubborn man with silver hair and warm brown eyes as he passes by the girls in charge of hair and makeup. When he has to get mere inches from his face for a final lighting check and catches a glimpse of the proud, sure, and anxious look in his eyes right before the start of a shoot. When he sneaks to the back where he has no business being just to see him, lips soft and pillowy and desperately whispering his name as he presses the man against his dressing room door, Kentarou trying his damndest to keep them quiet.

Kentarou regrets having to be stuck staring at someone so breathtakingly beautiful he's paralyzed.

Really, it's no surprise that Shigeru makes the cover. Having a special edition sent to his apartment is a bit unnecessary, especially given the hastily scrawled message on the cover with an obnoxious lipstick stained kiss mark that makes his face impossibly hot.

Even more unsurprising is the announcement he's going to be on staff for every future shoot involving Shigeru and that he’ll be the one holding the camera from now on.

He takes immense satisfaction knowing that he's the only one capable of showing everyone what he sees when he looks at Shigeru.

_ About time someone noticed. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who ordered the medieval/fantasy fic? yall order comin up next


	21. Type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first crush moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> already have an idea for the next drabble. I might even make it a two parter

“What kind of girls do you like Kyoutani?”

Nobody expects Watari to ask him. Mindless locker room conversations like this are always started and continued by the third years, second years, and tentative first years. Cute girls, strong girls, quiet girls, smart girls. Just something to keep them busy while they get changed. Shigeru hasn't ever seen Kyoutani take any interest in this or any other discussion, and he hasn't particularly cared.

Now though… now he's tuning in with unusually rapt attention. It seems everyone else is too given how quiet it gets.

Kyoutani frowns, searching through his bag with a grumble. “I'm not into girls.”

Nobody seems to care. In fact, they're paying even _more_ attention to what he says next to see whose pride is going to skyrocket knowing they're desired by both girls and guys.

“Well, what kind of dudes are you into?”

Kyoutani pulls a stick of deodorant from his bag, not bothering to acknowledge the tense silence in the room. “I dunno. Pretty ones I guess, but it doesn't really matter. As long as they're not boring, can keep up with me, and have a nice butt, they're good to go.”

Shigeru ponders this.

What does a pretty guy even look like? Oikawa for sure. Girls call him pretty all the time. The third year setter from Karasuno and their tiny first year pinch server too. He's overheard some girls go as far as to call Semi and Shirabu from Shiratorizawa pretty, but he doesn't really trust that assessment.

Does Shigeru qualify as pretty? If he uses his upperclassman as a benchmark, he'd say he does, at least a little bit. He's positive he can keep up with Kyoutani too. Nobody else bothers to chase after him when he leaves the gym during practice for some unspoken reason, and he isn't sure they'd be able to find him if they did.

Hanamaki takes this opportunity to speak up, eyes locked with Matsukawa, grinning mischievously. “By pretty, do you mean the opposite of Oikawa?”

Sputtering, an incredulous Oikawa whirls around, shirt on backwards with exaggerated offense written across his features. “Wha- why do you use every conversation to insult me?!”

Kyoutani actually stops to think for a minute. Oikawa’s ego physically deflates with each passing second. “I guess so. Looks aside, it'd be annoying as hell to deal with someone like him.”

Matsukawa persists. “And when you say nice butt, do you mean-"

“Not flat. I can't be with someone who suffers from pancake ass. That'd be embarrassing for both of us.”

Iwaizumi snorts, muttering to himself in amusement. “So that definitely rules out Oikawa.”

“Rude! Rude Iwa-chan!”

Does _he_ have a flat butt? He doesn’t think so. He's not on the level of Karasuno’s captain by any means, but at least he's got something back there. Unlike, say, Kunimi.  _ Sorry dude, you're just not packing anything down there. _

Watari is staring at him. Shigeru feels his face burning and he turns to his locker with as much subtlety as he can muster in order to hide his predictably red face.

 

From that moment to the very second he lays down to sleep that night, he swears the smug expression on Watari’s face is going to be permanently etched into his memory under the day labeled  _ Shigeru realizing he has a crush on a boy. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slow at replying to comments don't roast me plz


	22. Break (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A break moment from Kentarou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sad Kentarou

This is stupid. If the prevalent throbbing of his wrist and the extreme pain he’s experiencing is anything to go by, he really shouldn't have done this so impulsively.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, and he'd been toying with the idea for a while, so it wasn't completely out of left field. Yet he always assumed he would plan it out more when the time came, that he'd decide what he wanted after consulting with an artist about a design. One doesn't usually barge into a tattoo parlor after a trip to Lawson to get inked up before getting hammered with cheap sake and beer back in their apartment.

Maybe there's something charming about this. Maybe someone will look at him with fond eyes and a near embarrassing amount of endearment when they hear him describe how he'd finished eating fried chicken and immediately traveled two blocks down the street to make one of the most important decisions a person can concerning their body.

He already has his phone in his hand, a reflex, but he let's it drop with a faint thud to the floor. He latches onto the bottle of sake and takes a swig. He swallows it slowly to make sure he doesn't irritate the tightness of his throat.

He breathes out. The sound is low. Deep. He focuses on the feeling of his left wrist, the way it sends jolts up his arm that echo throughout his entire body.

_ No way. _

It's not possible. There's no way he can be happy about this, even if the simplicity  _ does _ suit his nature and the clear print  _ is _ both subtle and defined. It doesn't matter how good the result is and how he felt compelled to take a picture that he has yet to post on Twitter or Snapchat or anything. 

Not with the timing.

Not when it's paired with seeing Shigeru talking amicably with a guy with the smooth hair, sharp features, smug smile, and ugly snake on his neck, and feeling like he's being stabbed over and over and over again for the three seconds he managed to see them walk past on the other side of the street through Lawson’s glass doors.

Not when he's reminded of how he agreed with Shigeru's proposal that they put their relationship on hold since they're both so busy with school they barely see each other anymore. Kentarou had wanted to immediately refuse without a second thought, but gave in with only a few moments of hesitation because he'd wanted Shigeru to be happy, even if he wouldn't be there to see him.

Not when he has to live with the fact that he can't even look at guys he meets at bars with any intention of intimacy whatsoever. All his stupid fucking brain can picture when he catches a glimpse of the faces of anyone he dares to turn to is the look of betrayal and hurt he believes Shigeru would send his way if he were there.

He reminds himself, convinces himself, lies to himself, that the tears rolling pathetically down his cheeks are a result of the tattoo itself, not the fact that the kanji for loyalty burns so fiercely into his skin that it reminds his heart of why he can't even consider being with someone other than Shigeru. At least not while his heart still beats so loudly for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next: sad Shigeru


	23. Break (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A break moment from Shigeru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sad boy hours

It seemed like the most logical decision to make given the circumstances. Shigeru knew that, although it would hurt at first, this was going to end up being the best choice he's ever made. He'd talked to his parents and his brother about this for weeks before he brought it up with him, and every single one of them agreed this was the right thing to do. People his age needed to focus on themselves, not other people. He shouldn't be stressing himself over a relationship when he should be working on his future. This was it, the final test that would determine whether or not he could become a wholly independent member of society.

And it worked. Shigeru's been spending this time growing. He talks more with people in his major, speaks with professors about internships he might be able to snag between work and classes. He finds an appropriate company and eagerly throws himself into the tasks he assigned. He's praised. He's provided with useful tips, advice, and tons of knowledge that he absorbs like a sponge.

It wasn't like he was seeing Kentarou much anyway with how hectic their respective schedules were, not to mention the fact that the two hour drive to and from their universities to one of their apartments wasn't an easy commute to make. If he hadn't brought up the idea of putting things on hold, they'd have probably had a nasty fight that would end with them splitting up forever. Really, this was the best decision to make considering the circumstances. He's getting exactly what he signed up for.

He wakes up without a good morning text and a delirious phone call from a drowsy Kentarou who sounds like he's in the same room despite living miles and miles away.

He goes about his day and sees couples standing together in Starbucks, spikes of envy and jealousy being sent straight to his heart that he doesn't deserve to feel because this was  _ his _ idea.

He picks up something to eat on the way home and passes by bars with giddy partners fumbling over each other in their haste to leave, never knowing if Kentarou has found someone else to give his love to, never knowing if someone better than Shigeru has swooped in while Kentarou was available to take him for themself.

He lays down at night without a goodnight or an I love you or a phone call from someone who used to nag him about pulling all nighters that's now been forced to become a night owl due to mountains of work.

So yeah. None of this comes as a surprise. He knew what he was getting into.

But then he’s walking with Daishou from the train station to make a quick visit to the best tailor he knows to fix these godforsaken jeans, and his eye catches on the sign for Lawson, and th e longing and the sadness and the heartbreaking realization slam into his chest with devastatingly equal intensity.

And Shigeru doesn't know how to feel about it.

He's never been this _wrong_ before. It's always been simple mistakes, little miscalculations here and there. He's never misunderstood a situation this simple to this degree at any other point in his life.

It bothers him.

He ignores the way Yamamoto and Daishou bicker over dinner, answers any mindless question he's asked, barely responds when Yamamoto tells him the guest rooms good to go.

Hours pass and all he can think about is how stupid he is, how blind he was not to see something so obvious.

The bed in the guest room is softer than he's used to. Colder too. He can hear Yamamoto’s snoring through the walls. 

Shigeru glances at the clock. A little past midnight.

It's not as loud here anymore.  _ Guess I took all the noise with me when I left,  _ Shigeru chuckles dryly.

His throat hurts and his eyes burn, but he doesn't dare make a sound when he sits upright, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed with clear resolution.

Shigeru's always been one to face things head on.

He changes into comfortable jeans and a sweater, grabbing his wallet and the spare key Daishou let him borrow on his way out the door.

He doesn't need to think about where he's going. He doesn't have to. A left turn at the intersection, keep going, take a right, keep going, take another left, then another, then a right.

It takes him twelve minutes. Like clockwork.

His mind drifts before vivid memories of thrift stores and restaurants and the whispering of his mother about how he shouldn't be worrying about fleeting relationships and his father resolutely agreeing, all centering around the focal point of being apart making no difference, because he's still thinking about Kentarou just as much now as he had when they were together.

He's still not thinking clearly when he climbs the stairs to Kentarou's apartment. Shigeru isn't sure if Kentarou even wants to see him now. He could be mad, sad, or happy that he'd left. He certainly hasn't told anybody how he's been, and the few people that know him well enough to ask aren't saying anything to Shigeru.

He reaches Kentarou's door. There's a new welcome mat.

Shigeru stops.

This is a bad idea. It's too early, Kentarou's probably asleep, and he really only has himself to blame for this situation since he didn't talk to anybody about this except for people who maybe didn't even like the idea of him dating a man and decided everything for himself.

He didn't even talk to Kentarou about it. He's a scumbag. He's shitty and he knows it and he hopes Kentarou gives him hell for it.

So he knocks on that door ten times harder than he needs to, because he relishes in the way it hurts to love someone this much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall: oh wow a somewhat happy ending love it now can we move on to the good stuff  
> me: ok sorry


	24. Gross

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A parent moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna wait until Wednesday but I couldnt

Mako expects it. He always does.

It's not like dad and pops try to hide it, how much they love each other. And it's charming in a way, he supposes, the way they express themselves so openly. If you're into that kind of stuff. He doesn't really care either way if he's honest. He's more worried about asking pops if he can do so more chores so he can buy the new gundam figure he saw at the store the other day.

It only really bothers him when they forget he's there.

He's eating a bowl of cereal in the morning while dad faces the counter, humming a song under his breath as he makes coffee. Mako obviously remembers the tune, because there hasn't been a day in his life where dad hasn't sung it while he's in the room. Then pops waltzes in and comes up behind dad, wrapping his arms around him, and they do that weird swaying thing and whisper to each other and laugh and kiss and do so much sappy stuff it makes him want to leave the room.

He has to shout to remind them he's there, always a sputter, always embarrassed, “I'm still here y’know!”

And pops snorts, and Mako almost frowns when he gets a snarky, “If you don't wanna see it, then you should eat faster.”

He doesn't eat faster, mostly because he'll choke and dad will panic, yelling at him not to scare him like that anymore. His cheeks stay that stupid pink color until he finishes eating and moves to leave, pops ruffling his hair and dad pulling him in for a hug before goes to school.

He doesn't think there's a kid in the world who wants to see their parents staring at each other like they hung every star in the sky while they're eating Cheerios. It kind of ruins the whole daydream while you eat thing.

Except, when he's sitting at lunch and hears his friends complain about how their parents always fight or how they never see each other or how they never talk to anyone, he does think it's nice that dad and pops get along, even when they're arguing.

Still though. Seeing your parents kiss is gross. Everyone knows that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we need more family fics


	25. Taboo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shameful moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sad boy hours

It hurts.

Watching the video is the equivalent of someone digging their hand into his chest and ripping his heart out, mercilessly squeezing it until it pops without so much as a second thought. It's only a clip really, but it's not short enough to argue a key portion of context was missing. This was telling enough. He doesn't think he can stomach the full interview.

Shigeru hasn't moved. He's sitting stock still right next to him, shoulder to shoulder, barely breathing. Kentarou doesn't blame him. The air is too full, too many words flying around, waiting for a chance to swoop into their heads and squeeze their brains until they're a hollow shell of what is expected of a high school senior on their way into the real world.

Kentarou doesn't know what to say. He isn't sure there's anything he  _ can _ say with how dry his mouth has gotten.

_Useless. They’ll come to their senses. Education about their actions encourages this behavior. Useless. Useless. Useless. Useless._

It's not like she's wrong in Kentarou's case. He's not going to be giving much back to the world when he gets older, he's just an average kid. His grades are less than stellar, no matter how proud of himself he is, and he's only ranked forty five of the three hundred students in his graduating class. He's got big dreams and no assets. He's got plans with no action. He's got nothing. He is nothing.

And Shigeru-

Well. She's wrong about that at least.

He hears keys turning in the front door, soft laughter and cool conversation drifting through the cracks in the door.

Shigeru blinks a few times as he comes out of his trance. Kentarou opens his mouth to speak, finally.

Then the front door opens.

Then Shigeru realizes they're still leaning against each other, and he jerks away as though Kentarou's the most disgusting being on the planet.

_ Useless. Useless. Useless. Make the right choices. Get married to a woman. Have kids. Contribute. Useless. Useless. _

It hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remembered that one video where the lady gov official said gays were useless and idk man it just hurt real bad all of a sudden :/


	26. Ask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A corny moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is pretty corny

His hands are clammy, and the rain isn't helping. Shigeru shifts from one foot to the other, unable to stand still for even a moment. He shouldn't be acting this way. He knew this was going to happen, hell, he was told straight out. But it takes every ounce of strength within him to keep his voice from shaking when he speaks, “You turned him down.”

Kyoutani’s silence is different from usual. It makes him feel at home, like he's somewhere reserved for him alone, and it sets his heart beating a mile a minute.

“Any particular reason why? You were getting along pretty well.” His voice raises the barest of octaves, and he knows he's fucked up.

“You know why,” Kyoutani doesn't turn to fully look at him, but the way his voice has lost its usual impatient gruffness is so jarring Shigeru can't help but gape. “I couldn't lie to him. That's shitty.”

_ He's not wrong. _

As annoying as he can be whenever he shows up to practice late, steals Shigeru's food, and complains about Shigeru's ridiculous looking scarf, Kyoutani doesn't lie. Never. Not even when he knows it'll hurt someone to tell the truth.

Shigeru's face is burning, though out of mortification for being the source of gossip that'll last for weeks on end or for what he's about to do next is anyone's guess.

The air around them is extremely damp. Shigeru eyes the sky from under the overhang. It doesn't seem like the rain is going to stop any time soon.

_ Time to nut up or shut up. _

Shigeru opens his mouth to finally ask when Kyoutani interrupts him, “I'm heading out,” A mumble buried beneath a flood of obnoxiously loud raindrops.

Shigeru nearly gives himself whiplash from how fast he turns. Kyoutani's already moving, no umbrella, no urgency, ready to leave Shigeru there all by his lonesome to suffer through his stupid thoughts and overly active imagination.

Shigeru steps out after him, and almost regrets it given how hard the rain starts beating against his head, but he doesn't waver when he yells, “Kyoutani, wait!”

He asks,  _ finally, _ but he isn't heard.

At least, that's what he thinks until he sees the stall in Kyoutani's steps before he keeps going. 

_ Asshole! _

Shigeru swallows the very last of his pride, ignores his humiliatingly flushed reflection in the puddle near his feet, and tries again.

Kyoutani stops.

Shigeru can already hear the taunts coming. He's going to wake up tomorrow to a screenshot from Kyoutani's phone where his contact name is something moronic that he'll have to threaten him to change, and he'll have to suffer through idiotic inside jokes during lunch and at practice.

But Kyoutani's looking at him, and it's the same as when they were in his classroom yesterday when they were slapping each other with dirty erasers and laughing and getting way too close to ignore, words and actions they'll never be able to take back.

Shigeru can’t bring himself to look at him anymore. His eyes drift away and his fists stay firmly planted by his side. He tries to get his bearings when he hears him coming, but it's hard when he knows what he does, feels the way he does.

He's being nudged, and now he's walking backwards, back hitting a fence to an empty lot only they care about, vacant box and all.

There are hands on his face. Warm. Thumbs brushing against his cheeks, a forehead gently bumping against his own, breath mingling with his own, “You remembered.”

Shigeru swallows, allowing his shoulders to slump, “Yeah.”

_ Just, you know, give him an honest answer. _

_ Obviously. I'm not gonna lie to him. _

_ I know, I know. Honestly though… _

_ What? _

_ Would you  _ really _ say no if I asked you to? _

_ I'd do anything if you asked me to. _

His breath catches just as lips brush against his. They fit together the same way they had yesterday, heads angled just so, tasting of peanuts because it's all Kyoutani ever buys since they're cheaper than protein bars.

He's probably cold, enough to maybe make him sick tomorrow, but all Shigeru knows right now is heat. Heat from the body pressing against him, heat from the tongue that slides against the roof of his mouth, heat from all of the emotions bursting from his heart. The only thing keeping him grounded is the grip he has on Kyoutani's forearms, and he can already hear the complaints he's going to get tomorrow.

And even though it's embarrassing as all hell to wind up with someone you've done nothing but complain about, he can't imagine being without Kyoutani.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next: family scene


	27. Juice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A toddler moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ that one Kevin Hart joke about juice](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pH38ueX1wBk)

Shigeru likes to think of himself as the “nice” dad.  Sure, Kentarou is just as loving as he is, but he's more rough around the edges. His love isn't as soft as Shigeru's, who coos and holds no shame in the way he cherishes his son.

That being said, Shigeru doesn't always indulge in his wishes.

“Papa, juice.”

Shigeru smiles, ruffling Mako's hair as he says, “Not now kiddo. Go drink some water, you can have juice later.”

Now, Mako’s only a year and a few months old. He can talk, but he can't really hold a conversation with anyone.

Just like right now.

He's not really saying anything, just mouthing off with gibberish and what are vaguely supposed to be words. But he's got that look, that look he's clearly picked up from Kentarou, and he's frowning and pouting and doing a whole bunch of shit that is so clearly meant to piss Shigeru off that it's almost scary.

Almost. Mostly, it's just annoying.

It's like he's talking to his husband instead of a two year old. Telling. “Who do you think you're talking to, huh?! Take your little ass in the kitchen and get some water!”

Yet again, it's like he's talking to the thirty two year old man he married. Mako huffs, he  _ huffs, _ and turns around to march into the kitchen.

Okay, it's more like a waddle. And it'd be cute if he hadn't just copied the most infuriating thing from the most infuriating person in the world.

In the kitchen, completely out of earshot and Shigeru's field of view, Mako asks Kentarou for juice. He wordlessly opens the fridge, takes out a juice box, and hands it to the boy with a kiss on the forehead.

Kentarou doesn't hear the end of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next: idk man something gay


	28. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A ghost moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two spooky boys

He doesn't get it. He never has and he doesn't think he ever will.

“This is the last time I'm gonna tell you, you can't just do crazy shit to scare people away whenever you feel like it! Nobody's gonna want to see me anymore!”

If they're willing to leave after a stupid bleeding mirror and some curled wallpaper then they aren't really cut out for it anyway. And why shouldn't he want to keep Shigeru to himself? This place is for them. Other people would complicate things, make it harder for them to have this thing they have.

Shigeru doesn't understand. He's too angry, doesn't hear him, just hears the harsh, warped sound that are his garbled thoughts. It makes Shigeru furious. “Oh screw off! Just because you have to be alone for an eternity-”

Oh. That's different. He doesn't like that, makes him feel something sharp and metallic all around his being.

“-doesn't mean everybody else does too!”

He tries to ask again.

If he isn't allowed to push other people away, then what does he have to do to get him to stay? It doesn't make sense. He doesn't get it.

But he's not human. He can't say anything, can't be someone Shigeru can talk to or work this out with. Because all he gets is another glare, and it's directed right at him, which would make him feel warm at being able to be seen at all were it not for what's about to happen next.

“I'm starting to see why they stuck you in this shitty apartment.”

Ouch.

Shigeru's walking away. He's leaving, and he knew that he would, but he wishes he were wrong. He tries to make him stay, makes a real, genuine effort.

But he's just so _ugly._ He's so fucking disgusting in his corporeal form. It's supposed to mimic humanity, but he was so obviously cheated that it's no wonder all hope leaves him.

He doesn't even have skin. He's just a black void in the shape of a body made of shifting shapes that vaguely resemble centipedes.

Shigeru doesn't even turn around when he slams the door on his way out.

He waits.

It's strange to be standing here without Shigeru in the house. He'd normally be asleep or going over some documents at the table as the sun rises. The absence is especially noticeable given how he's limited himself to a singular form rather than encompassing the room itself.

He walks to the bathroom. It's a strange feeling.

He sees himself in the mirror. He doesn't have eyes, but his sight is limited to where they would be if he did. He doesn't remember what it felt like to blink. He tries to replicate what he believes it would be like, but without eyes, it means nothing.

He wonders who he used to be. He knows he's male. He knows he died. He knows Shigeru. That's it, that's all he has.

He waits some more.

He waits until he hears maintenance knocking on the door before fading away into the nothingness he's become accustomed to. He waits until the men replace the loose door hinge and fix the dishwasher before they leave with a yawn.

He drifts to the window. He can see the beginnings of dawn over the horizon.

Shigeru isn't back yet.

He returns to the bathroom. His corporeal form isn't cooperating anymore, and he doesn't have a reason to force it to. Now he's just a dark mass in a stuffy bathroom that nobody can identify.

He doesn't have hands, but he tries to touch things anyway. He can't feel anything. He can't grasp the bottle of bleach next to the tub or kick the ghastly blue hand lying over the side of it.

He hears birds.

He hears cars.

He hears hissing as a door is yanked open and slammed shut.

He returns to nothingness.

Shigeru is silent when he stalks to his bedroom, skin steaming despite its noticeable brightness. He follows. The room is encased in darkness, and Shigeru is buried underneath the comforter.

He stays exactly where he is as presence in the doorway, watching him.

A muffled, “Come on.”

He doesn't move.

A frustrated groan, “Come ooooon.”

He didn't expect him to come back. He never does. Not when he knows he's leaving, especially when he doesn't.

Shifting underneath the comforter before Shigeru's head pops up. His eyes are narrowed, thin slits of red as he gapes incredulously, “What the hell! I was only gone for a few hours, I wouldn't just-”

Wouldn't he?

A frown and a firm, “No.”

He doesn't need to lie. He doesn't blame him.

Shigeru groans, flopping onto the bed and rubbing his face with his hands, “Can you stop? I feel shitty enough as is! You think way too loud you know, I heard you all the way across the city.”

He doesn't. He doesn't think nearly as much as he used to. There isn't any point.

Another frown. “Hey, stop that. That's not true and you know it. And could you come here? Jeez.”

He listens, but he stays the way he is.

Shigeru pats the spot next to him, “Come on.”

He doesn't think he can.

“Try.”

He does.

“See? That wasn't so hard.”

Not true. It's hurts to try when nobody wants you, even when you're trying your hardest to be what they want to see.

“Hey, _I_ want you.”

He's pulled next to Shigeru like he's supposed to be there-

“You _are_ supposed to be here, how many times do I have to-”

When he doesn't even have skin or eyes or a way to talk at all, only intrusive thoughts that betray everything he tries to keep hidden away-

“Oh my god, shut up, _please-_ ”

He doesn't remember his name.

"..."

It doesn't mean anything, wouldn't do anything if he did, but he doesn't remember.

“I do.”

Yeah. Shigeru does.

“It's Kentarou.”

He supposes it is.

A hand on his body, where his heart would be if he had one. A head on his shoulder as the comforter is pulled over them. “Sorry.”

It's his fault.

“Yeah, but it's mine too. I forgot to tell you I had to eat. You didn't know.”

Okay.

“I wouldn't leave you.”

Okay.

A drowsy chuckle, “If I did, then _I'd_ be alone for eternity too.”

They have to stay together then.

“I guess we do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) angsty ghost boy  
> (1) hangry vampire boy  
> (2) boys in love


	29. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A forest moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imagine getting shot by a poacher just to impress your bf

Kentarou hates the cast. It's not tight or anything, it's just a constant reminder of everything that happened, and quite frankly, he doesn't want to deal with the headache.

And besides, nobody really likes to remember getting shot, do they?

The path through the forest is barren. A beautifully cobblestone lined track of dirt has become desolate, no weeds peeking out between stone cracks or tall grasses lining the edge. It's become nothing more than red sandstone dusted with dry dirt.

His movements are stiff, each step that much harder due to the fact that he left his crutches inside the house. Kentarou snorts. He doesn't need some glorified sticks to help him walk, he's already got someone to lean on.

He just needs to find him.

Hence the trip into the forest.

It's a sad sight to see given all that happened. What was once full of vibrant greens, lively animals, and creepy yet fascinating bugs is now nothing but rotting wood. The forest floor is a mini desert beneath his feet. There's not an animal track in sight.

Yet he still hears growling.

_ Figures. _

Kentarou hobbles off the path, nearly tripping over a particularly gnarly tree root in his haste to follow the sound. Nearly. The wind picks up just as he hobbles, and the growling intensifies.

Kentarou clicks his teeth, “Shut up. You try walking with one good leg.”

He continues toward the sound, watching as the forest shifts around him to form a path hidden to all but him and one other. 

The air smells of salt water and vibrates with longing. The growling is strongest here , in the place where the rarest of animals could live without fear, a place he defiled by unwittingly leading an intruder who dared try to kill what was here just for a quick cash grab.

Kentarou stops when he sees him.

His hair's still silver, but what were once stark green vines and tiny sprouts threaded throughout it are now dead stalks of grass. His skin is a dull grey.

Kentarou takes a deep breath. He remembers pain, unhinged worry and rage laced with immense sorrow.

He doesn't look good. He hasn't been taking care of himself.

Kentarou clears his throat. “I'm back.”

The growling becomes a low rumbling, but it doesn't cease. He doesn't even turn to look at him.

Kentarou sighs as he mutters, “You're pretty fuckin’ dramatic for a forest god.” He takes a few steps closer, can smell the ocean when there is none, “It's not like I died or anything.”

Eyes the color of firewood turn to glare at him with a fierce protectiveness that leaves him breathless.

_ You could have though. _

Kentarou swallows his affection before it spills out and makes him do something stupid. Again. “But I didn't.”

The growling spikes again.

Kentarou exhales deeply.

This is not a conversation he's looking forward to having. He'd forgo it altogether by just walking away completely, seeking refuge in his house at the edge of the wood to wait out this fit, no matter how many weeks or months or years it takes.

But he can't leave. Couldn't even if he wanted to, because apparently, Kentarou just  _ loves _ nature too much to stay away.

Instead, Kentarou hobbles forward before Shigeru can stand up to help him before flopping down next to him on the forest floor. He ignores the concerned rumbling directed towards his leg as he mumbles, “I missed you.” It sounds exactly as exasperated as he felt when he spoke with the spiritual investigators, insisting that yes, he was fine, and no, the poacher wasn't.

Shigeru freezes.

Then he looks at him, really looks, and Kentarou can see the endless ocean spilling from Shigeru's eyes before he practically throws himself into Kentarou's chest. The hands on his back are cold even through his jacket, but they're getting warmer, just like his skin. The oceans worth of tears drench his shirt.

When he wraps his arms around Shigeru in return, Kentarou is rewarded with the reemergence of tiny sprouts and vines. The world begins to rejuvenate, the floor beneath him becoming less like sand and more like moist dirt, brilliant greens returning to trees and an innumerable amount of flowers taking bloom.

He breathes in deeply. “I'm home.”

He is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a sad forest god and his lover


	30. Adolescence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A middle school moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two of childhood friend au

Middle school makes Shigeru popular, and Kentarou angry.

Shigeru blooms under the attention he's given. He talks amicably with his classmates, greets people in the hallway, and absolutely adores the welcoming atmosphere of the school.

And Kentarou… Kentarou gets mad. Every little thing has the potential to set him off, gets the space between his brows creasing and his brows furrowing as he gets ready to bite someone's head off. He says he grows too fast and gets hungrier much too quickly, eating far more than anybody Shigeru has ever seen only for the energy to be burned through sharp remarks during the course of the school day or at volleyball practice to hold his tongue towards disrespectful upperclassmen.

People don't really like this. They say Shigeru is too nice and Kentarou is too mean, scoffing when they see the two of them interacting. They think Kentarou's silence in their conversations makes him rude.

Those people prove to be unnecessarily presumptuous. After all, they aren't the ones who grew up with Kentarou. He is.

But girls like Kentarou, though. He doesn't really like it, and he feels awful every time he thinks it.

He feels less awful when they walk home together, hand-in-hand, sweating after a particularly tough day of practice.

Middle school cements an ideal he’s already grown to accept, his heart a reflection of what he's known since he was a toddler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back on their bullshit

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/gangstacrowtwit) to get spammed with art i rt


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